No announcement yet.

Constant's SUN

  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Constant's SUN

    Dearest, dearest MOTHER,........................................... ..................................................

    Hello Mommy,
    Other than repeating the usual old age sentiments and coupling them with a Happy Birthday (which *i* do-even if *i* don't write them here) 40 years of separation with only a very, very short period of personal reacquaintance, followed by another 15 yrs most of which has been coloured by Anne's very vocal antipathy to both my presence and my desire to reacquaint myself with THE FAMILY, leaves me with only my 'then' observations; ( YOUR! still very acute and interested *i* in the NEWS, albeit mainly in Local and American news, a self assured and no doubt life long practice with conundrums, albeit through focus on Crosswords complexities, A still focused and practised attention to both competition and the vital art of 2 handed- 2 way communication, albeit via the coded & taut language of Bridge, a vocal insistence that *i* put to permanent memory the knowledge that *U* actually DID, despite pointed wishes of GrandParents reject Bottle feeding and DID actually take the time to hold me To Breast ...for feeding and only once, again allow mE & mY poor, poor soul to cuddle @that most dearest Breast, albeit only for a short time *AND*~ a recall.. with vocal rendition... of the words and importance of KIPLING, albeit without specific reference to both time and importance to mE of your~ actually reading his attempt to highlight *SPECIAL* ~to both mY sister and *i*, and thus to mE confirming mY belief in the importance of Mother Tongue ) & sorrow that *i* needed to do so as a pauper (since no rich man is ever seen as a fool & ONLY *a FOOL* would attempt to resolve what follows-SO SAY Nigh on ALL)
    .......... and the sense that *i* ought to make some sort of apology to The Her mY sister and mY family..... for the way My Life AND It's Purpose has turned out.

    ~ AND *i* can not do that MOM
    ~& YES that is / was a wilful act of will, as too *i* believe, the act of *IT* (should BE SO!) that has govern'd, nigh on from start, the whole of that Life.

    *i* Believe too that *U* understand that refusal 'to apologise', BUT more 'pertinently' - *i* believe & have acted upon the belief that *u*, Dad & some, if not all of mY Uncles and Aunts knew, that by the time *u* read me THE JUNGLE BOOK Story, that *i* had already "LEARNT" ~The Apology v Learn instead~ Lesson.
    AND~ that THE ISSUE~ was NOT 'then' Abandonment BUT 'SPECIAL' & those that Do and have Suffered under it's (*Special,s*) weight......ever since THE 1st WISH was *illuminated*.

    Now Mommy dearest, *i* can not with certainty know whether *U* chose to use * Nothing Onerous * rather than Nothing troubling, controversial or seeking contrition, when *i* asked if *u* would be so kind as to ask Anne to show *u* & 'YOU' my written efforts to both illuminate and resolve that "SPECIAL".
    NOR~ can *i* say with absolute certainty that any of the above was either known or had been deduced by *u* Dad and any of those Uncles and Aunts.
    ~ *U* are however, the only one of then left alive~ Something THAT WAS NOT Guaranteed & even though the fates have seen fit to allow for today & my 'still living', to attempt- still- to resolve it, 'via' *U*~Anne & Personal family, THAT SPECIAL *Issue* & the above would, albeit with other words, have still *i* Believe found it's way to Anne & THE FAMILY.

    That is however, not a claim *i* could have or would have made aged 10.
    ~ All *i* had 'then' was an unshakable resolve & understanding 'IN' both the *must* of traveling A ROAD & "belief that FAMILY BONDS can never be broken, stretched- even unto the ends of the Earth, Universe even-true, BUT never Broken". ( bar the extermination of ALL Source to *IT* ...of course )

    ~AND *i* Had MAGIC too of course, something *i* was 1st introduced to, whist still a very young child stilljust off your knee and on the point of falling asleep, when the branches of a tree outside my then window started to twist into a face THAT POINT'D @mE.
    " It scared the shit outta mE & although many, many years past & *I* even got to thinking *IT's* interest in mE and therefore *IT* might have been an illusion or Delusion. *IT*- much,... much later & when *i*, STOOD UPON ~THE ROCK, writing 'To RIGHT' ....*IT* presented IT's SELF 'again' & left mE in no doubt of both IT's Interest in mE and THE FACT.... THAT.... *IT-is-REAL*."

    NOW~ needless to say, That STAND upon THAT ROCK has past *and* the only those that shared that experience can attest to it.
    PROVE *IT* however, was the question *IT* asked, whilst inviting and dam near drowning mE in *IT's*....TEARs.
    BUT~ & so *i* believe~ since *SPECIAL* was ROAD...for so long traveled *AND* reason for *IT's* reintroduction, *i* fought any thought of Drowning OR Crowning mE, thanked *IT* & set about considering........THAT QUESTION........*as a wish*~for Crowning *us* rather than DROWNING *us*.

    *** ALL OF mY ACTIONs 'Since then' have been based AND Governed bY THAT & *the HOPE* that ALL of *YOU*..... would prefer.... THE SAME...END.*****

    THE *NEED* is now known WORLD OVER!
    Belief that ALL OF YOU *will* actually aim @that SAME END...*is* in DOUBT,
    ***BUT~ NOT ~THAT ALL OF YOU...CAN...DO SO ***

    Regarding THE WEIGHT & ISSUE of SPECIAL.... US!

    " when STOOD *or* @mY END- STOOD- before
    THAT * Delusional / Onerous * DOOR.
    this *was / is* mY argument.
    Humanity *has-had* oh so,so many who have been to IT (MAGIC)
    *AND* ask'd for *IT* to prove for both 'Them' & ALL
    the Power and Existence of *IT*.

    AND~ YOU (Magic) have done so!

    *i* Knowing THAT & the FACT that You know/ knew, that proving IT
    would / could / *must* only prove partially successful,
    (since THE IMPOSSIBLE *must* remain so)
    suggest~ that to 'continually' *prove IT* (as in day out, day in & for each)would ...
    defeat... *IT's*~ Hopes *and* Purpose.
    Further~ *i* suggest THAT *the use of TONGUE*
    is / was.... YOUR that "continual conundrum",

    AND *ask* therefore, THAT~ YOU REFRAIN from allowing
    any, including mE... the use of or the abilities OF *IT*TO PROVE
    *IT's-YOUR* Existence.
    ( that *is* not to suggest that *you* wish yourself out Human existence
    BUT~ rather to Fortify via a 'pertinent insist'-when personally asked,
    that each 1st *LOOK* to THE WRITTEN WORD
    AND~ *IT's* ~HISTORY.... Before....asking.

    *i* Believe *IT* to be a direct result of THE VERY, VERY 1st *wish*.
    The same as above.... mY Birth MOTHERs... last.....*wish*

    **** NOTHING ONEROUS! ***

    AND! Furnish ALL of the above in the hope that NOW!
    ** BOTH *wishes* can NOW TOO...finally ~rest in & with Peace **

    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& &&& &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& &&& &&&&

    The following Images *are* in part, mY attempt to put SPECIAL *& it's weight*~to your desire.... TO PROVE & have*IT* PROVEN.....FOR EVER.... TOO!

    BUT First: *i* can not prove *them* (images)as such, EVEN THOUGH *i* Feel them to be, in essence... true!

    AND~ in order to understand *THE SPECIAL / Specials* Conundrum 'as *i* suppose', both *u* & YOU will have to exhibit ~

    1st~ in *IT* being IN FACT *REAL*,
    2nd~ in *IT* having been alive, aware AND around for a very, very long time indeed.
    3rd~ @the time of that 1st *wish* none of the words we *humans* have invented, nor any invented by any of *our* Forefathers .... had any existence what-so-ever.
    4th~ the concept *Onerous* however, as *i* / *we* now present it DID HOWEVER & has since~ have a very, very REAL meaning.
    5th~ the *wish* therefore, *was* TO SEE a part *set-to the fulfilment* ...of THAT *wish*, ~~*WE* / *us*..... IT's Current *HOPE*.
    ~~ AND AIM.... mY proposal & HOPE... To SEE~both as living and SHOWING *in Writing*actions and argument....FOR EVER.....*AND* in *IT's* interest...only.

    (A lifelong servitude other words *AND* with gratitude *never more*in issue)

    ~~*IT* knew that ~*IT's *wish* would require special & *Specials*.... to both 'write' *and* 'RIGHT'.......a HISTORY... THAT would's own desire to SEE~ said *wish* ......through... to a living and permanent reality....*FOR ALL*.

    AND FINALLY~ *IT* Will NOT APOLOGISE ....FOR THAT (WE are & have always been THAT WISH .......TO SEE! THAT REALITY)!

    As FOR *our* current penchant and desire for solve *our* Problems. It will AND does, as always, depend upon ALL...both seeing AND KNOWING that *SPECIAL* & *SPECIALs*.......Have already ~IN DEED....*written* a HISTORY....that proves...their efforts Demise & Conceit ....1 worth carrying... till the END OF TIME.

    &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& &&& &&&&&&

    Click image for larger version  Name:	MOMs-Lines-HELLO-e1504117434998.png Views:	1 Size:	201.0 KB ID:	26Click image for larger version  Name:	MOMs-lines-Toes-e1535434210544.png Views:	1 Size:	108.2 KB ID:	27Click image for larger version  Name:	MOMs-Lines-Nose-e1535435028214.png Views:	1 Size:	180.0 KB ID:	28Click image for larger version  Name:	MOMs-Linesshivered-e1535435094246.png Views:	1 Size:	155.2 KB ID:	29Click image for larger version  Name:	Pages-MOMs-ALL-Dstars.png Views:	1 Size:	737.5 KB ID:	30
    Last edited by Constant's SON; 10-30-2018, 03:58 PM.

  • #2
    ....................... AND FAMILYClick image for larger version  Name:	REMEMBER-1.png Views:	1 Size:	476.6 KB ID:	25

    I am finding it nigh on impossible to know how to say anything to either *u* or THE FAMILY, both verbally and in this the written form, For anything and everything I say can be construed as either Delusional or Onerous.

    As to whether I ought to make such an attempt , all I can say is that the general conceit is, that there *is* something OR Someone who at some point, DID *make* A *Delusional / Onerous* DOOR & whilst 'seemingly' it is an unsolvable issue IT *is* also, in This Language and by those that both write and 'right' it....... THE HUMAN PURPOSE.....'To Make OR not To Make'.

    *i* Believe Mother, that *u*, my nearest kin AND _THE WHOLE FAMILY, know it and have been born, whether willingly or not into The consequences of opening-to our reality- that *Delusional / Onerous*.....DOOR.

    *i*, Mother~ believe too, that *u* will instantly see the fundamental Difficulty *i* *u* & *ALL* have to face~ & it is not .....THE Impossible .....
    ~BUT *THE FACT* that the only way to face it, since the IMPOSSIBLE *must* remain A FACT.... is via the use of either magic or THE TONGUE * & the tools developed by THE TONGUE, namely Allegory, Simile & Metaphor.
    That is not because there are no facts ..That DOOR' Gate, Tunnel, Path, Road, Point Of Death~ Does Exist ..... & *ALL-must- Meet IT*
    BUT~ because THE IMPOSSIBLE *must* remain so
    AND~ because 'nigh on' ALL so called facts found.....
    DO HAVE TO 'run' the 'views'..... of 8 Billion eyes/ ears and minds of humans (WHO DO, just as they should, construe them as either Delusional or Onerous.) ......
    before ALL will accept any of them as a FACT.

    *i* am aware too that the 'supposed' existence of MAGIC ( the inexplicable ) is, to a very large portion of Humanity just that, a supposition that they will not accept as having any sort of reality, bar- being a delusion held by those that claim IT as fact, AND~ will NOT accept IT as such until IT, hammers them over the heads, so to speak.

    *i* Suspect too, since *i* have spoken, but more importantly watched, listened, read and HEARD... from a good number of them, that very existence of MAGIC... *IS* Their 1 abiding and GREATEST-FEAR, since 'in an instant' *IT* can make a mockery of ANY- conceit~ AND most especially The POWER / Money / collective identities THEY Profess and sell 'to self' as Comforting..... *in such an UGLY-WORLD*.
    THE REALITY~ of such an UGLY-HUMAN WORLD, *is* with them NOT IN DOUBT, even more so *IF* sat @APEX of Their POWER / MONEY....conceit.

    THE FACT~ that THAT CONCEIT, via them *MUST* continually sell, profess and *make* it such, to ALL & sundry, as a comforting solution to THAT UGLINESS....
    ~*and-TOO*..... upon ALL- but their own conceit, Profess a PURPOSE and REASON for it ...*MAGIC* via GOD, *speaks-in-volumes* ~ just as *i've* said above but even more importantly~ TO THAT MOST *ugly* of HUMAN conceits,,,,, *SPECIAL*

    ?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????
    *i* would *speak* further
    BUT~ *I* can not or at least have not been able to find a shorter or more concise
    way to both address mY *special*, it's journey, and it's deductions.

    AND~ in truth.
    anything further can now only speak to singular factors, how *i* think
    they have affected / influenced *us*
    As *i* have said *THE NEED* to run *all* by the *eyes, ears, Tongues & minds
    of *each-i* order to arrive @any workable solution
    let alone.... a permanent one.

    *i* did have / HAD what *i* thought would be both a solid and workable *plan* BUT~ It came up against it's own conceit & voiced by more than just a few with whom *i* had spoken ...


    As of tomorrow 31 /10 /2018 (her 86th *i* think Birthday) *i* HAVE.

    *i* have also spent a good deal of time considering the wisdom & foresight of those that voiced that question & it is to that *Foresight* that *i* attribute the 2 posting here.

    That *i*, in fact too believe & hope all Mothers will *here* help to prove, that MAGIC's greatest Gift and ITs greatest BURDEN * OBTUSE * was given into the female side of the Human TREE.
    Is mY conclusion to the time I've spent considering *FORESIGHT*

    THE FACT that *foresight* calls for a great deal faith *indubitably Proven*-by birth of a child is why *i* hope ALL *will* understand, that this Forum *is* intend to be ~only for MOTHERS,
    {*i* it's only male voice..... EVER ! }

    That is not because *I* wish any to think *i* be special & other males not BUT because SPECIAL *is* Something ALL MOTHERS *face* from the instant ANY CHILD is born.

    AND *I* ~ believing MAGIC to be REAL~ cannot BUT~ wish AND think that the possibility of
    *mE* with another CLEAN SLATE, may be born again *AND* the idea that *i* will then have to again FACE... the HORRORS of *SPECIAL*....Terrifies *mE* !
    Last edited by Constant's SON; 10-30-2018, 03:48 PM.


    • #3

      it can seem & *will* seem by those so inclined, that the 2 posts above - puts full 4 square;
      *all* culpability upon the shoulders and head of MOM *E*(earth) , who is considered fickle & silently vindictive.
      ALL espoused as qualities of WOMAN, but usually from MEN who fear very much *eyes* focused upon THEIR own Personal Mendacity.

      Last edited by Constant's SON; 10-30-2018, 05:10 PM.